


my heart lacks all doubt

by silver_atalanta



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: I've fallen and I can't get up, M/M, help me, this is the sappiest thing i have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 20:12:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8591905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_atalanta/pseuds/silver_atalanta
Summary: There are never enough ways to let each other know how much they're in love





	

**Author's Note:**

> What is this I mean I'm just on a roll with these things! This stupid sports anime is making me feel too much so here you go, a few pages worth of feels. I don't even know, I guess they're like little drabbles. 
> 
> Why are they so cute??!

.my heart lacks all doubt. 

 

When did it become like this? At what point did touching Viktor Nikiforov become something as natural to him as skating? 

When did he start looking to catch his hand or his eyes? When did he lean towards the warmth at his side or at this back?

When did peace finally feel like something he could attain when he is wrapped in pale muscled arms? 

Yuuri thinks about asking Viktor. He thinks about kissing him too. Most of the time he ends up kissing him instead of asking about anything. Oh well.  
\--

It’s cliché to say they fit together like puzzle pieces because they certainly don’t. When they’re lying against each other in bed Viktor’s elbow always digs into his side. His legs sometimes cut off the blood circulation in Viktor’s. They’re either too muscled or too thin or he’s been eating too many pork cutlet bowls again, their flesh almost too hot against each other’s on some nights. 

But they don’t dare try to pull away, not even a little bit, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Even in sleep they tend to cling together, as if the absence of feeling one another will wreck the other. 

Perhaps that is true. Yuuri doesn’t plan on testing it out though, plastered against Viktor’s back as outside the moon turns the world as silver as Viktor’s hair.  
\--

Nothing is perfect and to assume so would be ridiculous. Viktor is not prince charming, the smiling ice god that lined the walls of Yuuri’s bedroom for more than a decade. In truth he’s childish and insensitive, too excitable some days and prone to fits of drama that are downright embarrassing. And Yuuri, well—he’s already well aware of his own failings, has been for years.

So they fight sometimes, mostly about stupid things. Viktor goes out drinking too much of Yuuri needs to lay off the pork to get his weight back down. Viktor thinks it’s perfectly fine to wake Yuuri up in the middle of the night to tell him stupid things and Yuuri steals all the covers and talks in his sleep. 

They fight but it lasts minutes, seconds, and then all Viktor has to do is look at Yuuri a certain way and all Yuuri has to do is smile a certain way and they’re falling back together, united again as they always are and probably always will be. 

“You’re too cute to stay mad at,” Viktor says, pressing a warm kiss to the crown of Yuuri’s head. 

“And you’re too ridiculous,” Yuuri replies, his face pressing into the space between neck and shoulder, all warm skin and soft fabric and Viktor’s scent. A space that is made for him, and they both know it. 

Nothing is perfect, not all of the time, but most of the time, yeah, it pretty much is.  
\--

Yuuri’s family is surprisingly supportive of their son and his Russian lover. Yuuri doesn’t entirely understand it, especially since it’s blatantly obvious with how much he walks around naked that Viktor is 100% male. He brings it up to his mother first, one cold night when he’s helping her wash dishes in their tiny kitchen. 

“Oh, I always knew that you were meant for Viktor,” his mother says cheerfully, red cheeked and smiling from the hot water and soap suds her hands are submerged in. “After all, you had all those posters and every time he was on T.V. you always had this certain look on your face. I recognized it as the same expression I wore right after I met your father.”

Yuuri nearly drops the plate he’s drying, red and dry throat as he tries to think of a response. Was he really that obvious? That hopeless? He stammers to say something for a long moment and his mother pauses, looks over at him. Her eyes are his eyes, warm and wide and sparkling, and he realizes all at once exactly what he needs to say. 

“Thanks mom. I love you.”

His father is next. He finds him in the onsen almost asleep but he jerks awake when Yuuri slides into the water next to him. They sit in silence for awhile, making occasional small talk as Yuuri builds up his courage. When his father looks like he’s going to leave soon Yuuri dares to ask, keeping his eyes trained on the steaming water around him. 

A brief moment of silence follows his question and then there is a gentle but firm hand on his arm. Carefully, so very frightened and cautious, Yuuri turns and meets his father’s smiling face. 

“Yuuri, it doesn’t matter to me. I just want you to be happy and anyone with eyes can see that he clearly makes you so. You’ve been so radiant lately, so confident, and I have never been more proud of you, son.”

Yuuri ends up crying but his father stays with him to pat his back and reassure him again and again what he already knew, that it’s fine that it doesn’t matter, that his parents are wonderful people to match his wonderful boyfriend. And if Yuuri has felt lucky in the past just lying in Viktor’s arms it’s nothing like how lucky he feels now, secure in the knowledge that he has been accepted—that they have been accepted. 

When he tells Viktor later what his father said Viktor looks like he might start crying too. Instead he kisses Yuuri so passionately that it topples them to the floor where they stay clinging to each other, radiating in the acceptance and the love that passes so easily between them. 

Viktor kisses away the rest of Yuuri’s tears.

The last person he goes to as Mari and, well, he never had to worry about her. “I don’t care who you’re banging,” his sister snorts, cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Despite her crude way of putting it she is smiling though, that small smile that she does when she’s truly happy and doesn’t want to make it obvious. Yuuri hugs her despite her complaints and she definitely hugs his back before roughly pulling away to ruffle his hair. 

That night everyone gathers like they always do around the table for dinner. Viktor holds Yuuri’s hand on top of the table in plain sight instead of under the table like before and no one bats an eyelash, although Yuuri thinks he catches Mari smirking.  
\--

“What will happen when we stop skating?” It’s late into the night but Yuuri can’t sleep. Against his side, head pressed to his chest, Viktor refuses to fall asleep without him. 

It’s a scary idea, the idea of not skating competitively anymore. Their whole lives have been about it, one long journey of victories and loses, happiness and heartbreak. If not for skating they wouldn’t have met, not ever, Viktor still in Russia slowly losing himself to sadness and Yuuri doing the same in Japan. 

“We’ll never stop skating,” Viktor assures him, pushing his head up until his sleepy eyes met Yuuri’s worried ones. “As long as there’s the Ice Castle, we never have to stop. We can just skate for each other. Doesn’t that sound lovely?”

Yuuri sighs and runs a hand through Viktor’s hair where it’s getting longer, the locks thick and spun starlight between his thin fingers. “But I already skate for you. I always have.”  
Viktor’s mouth tastes like toothpaste and it’s so very warm as it touches his. “Then I guess it’s my turn to skate for you, my katsudon.”

Yuuri intertwines their fingers and presses them to his chest as he closes his eyes, Viktor taking his cue and doing the same. 

And the future is suddenly a lot less threatening.  
\--

They go to Russia a few times when Viktor gets really homesick. Yuuri never minds because Russia as a foreign and beautiful place full of history and snow. But Yuuri knows he truly loves Russia simply because it’s the place where Viktor was born, the place that gave him his greatest love. 

It also helps the Viktor gets so happy to be in Russia again, if not simply to see his old friends and family. Yakov and Yuri and Mila all show up at the door to Viktor’s apartment the afternoon after they arrived in St. Petersburg. Yuri acts like he doesn’t want to be there, trying to act disinterested as Yuuri and Viktor tell them all about how things have been in Japan. But Yuuri knows that he’s listening, and when the afternoon fades into night and they get ready to leave Yuuri pulls the teenager into a hug. 

“Please come back to see us again Yuri,” he says, holding tight despite how rigid the boy has become in his arms. He pulls away just as he thinks Yuri might have been about to hug him back, and Yuri is really glaring at him now. He spits something in Russian and spins away, stomping out of the apartment and Yuuri turns bemused eyes to Viktor to translate.  
Viktor wraps his arms around him and bends down to whisper in his ear. “He said “fine, so long as you cook for dinner for me.””

Yuuri laughs, leaning into Viktor’s hold as they stay locked together for a long moment, the champagne from earlier warm in their bellies and their hearts warm with each other.  
\--

Yuuri can’t entirely erase his self doubt but he can overcome it now. He can look in the mirror and see something other than a failure, his anxiety no longer able to distort his perception of things. He can say things without stuttering and he can move without second guessing himself, especially out on the ice. 

He can touch Viktor without care, kiss him without fear. 

“You get more beautiful every day, my Yuuri,” Viktor tells him from across the ice. His eyes are stars and Yuuri has captured them. 

“I know,” Yuuri replies and it’s so simple, so lovely because it is the truth. 

After all, Viktor would never lie to him.


End file.
